bugs, nerves, wind-up bird

1/10/20
On Wednesday (1/18) my mom found 2 bugs in her hair so we had to gather up the towels and wash them and hop in the car to get our heads checked for lice. She ended up being the only one who had them, and not too many. She sarcastically joked that it we sure hug each other often.
That night, I went to the high school church event. Luke was sick so it was just me. I felt incredibly anxious, and awkwardly sat in the back for nearly the whole time. I did end up talking a bit to Leo, then met this girl named -- , which was nice. Also, I ate a couple pancakes. Afterwards, we had a leader meeting - which was occupied mostly by a battle over where Micah (the youngest leader) was going to sit. They were really energetic and clearly well bonded which intimidates me, but also excites me. During prayer I was open about how nervous I was feeling which helped. They hung around then decided to go out for dinner at Lazy Dog, and I joined them just so I could talk more. I didn't want any heavy food so I ordered tea an ate a few fries someone didn't want. Across from me was Sean and to my right was Micah. Sean is super friendly and spoke to me most of the time; Micah is chill and very quiet. Connecting with people in smaller setting is always easier for me.

On Thursday, I hadn't originally planned to do much, but Dad asked if I could visit Yuri to pick up some homework Lydia needed, so I easily agreed. I was thinking of seeing her soon anyways to ask about teaching her photoshop.
We talked all about my family's dynamic and she advised how to speak with Lydia to help her progress. (leaving the rest of this section out for my sister's sake)

I was working that night at my desk, and mom came through the front door asking me whether a book outside was left for a friend. It was Wind-Up Bird. I briefly explained that I'd lent it to ex, and it seems he'd finished it. Putting it atop my sketchbook pile, I tried to look passive. At some point I asked when she'd first noticed the book, to which she wasn't sure, but thought probably just that evening. I peered through the pages for any signs or messages. Near the last page, I found a slip of paper I'd left a book list on, with his notes on the back side, and the receipt from our first date. The notes were things that I recalled reading in his journal. On the back of the receipt was written poorly in pencil:

Tuesday, Jan 7 2020 1:10am
Just finished the book, can't say I feel like I understand it.
Anyways, hope all is well.

Which meant to me - either he really did finish the book on Tues at 1:10am, or he had dropped it off on my porch at 1:10am. Either way, I find it poetic and odd that on that night, I'd decided to stay up late into the night. I could've been on the couch when he was several feet from my door. And I do remember hearing something around that time. Or, if it really had first appeared yesterday evening before I'd arrive home, around 5pm, then I was in Irvine while he was at my door. It's funny, you see. Both possibilities are strange.

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