Diana in a valley

3/4
Listless today. Arrived 5 min late to class. They called me to ask where I was while I was driving, and I was only a couple min away at that point, but when I hung up I considered whether I'd ever just not show up. I'd at least tell them I wouldn't be there, but I probably would never do that since it would mess up my weekly plan. Maybe sometime next month, after we've finished the book.

My algebra student is getting closer with me. She's been telling me about how her father's response to her low grades makes her upset. Yesterday I turned all therapist on her and tried to remind her that she's still smart and God's approval matters most. Today though, she seemed fine and I didn't say much besides explaining fractions and equal groups. I'm glad I could pull through without visible pain. Only during Latin 2, when I couldn't decide who to have translate and they all complained, did I get a bit overwhelmed.

Driving home, I listened to a podcast on gratefulness. I didn't really like it, but I knew my lack of gratefulness is a factor of why I'm stuck in this pattern. It was very well spoken about, and convicted me for taking so much for granted, when I should truly be rejoicing at every thing. What we all deserve is in the negative, so the fact I'm in the positive is a blessing. If only I could have this embedded in my heart, so I can accept myself in the same way.

I dragged through the afternoon. I did workout with my brother. Also returned 'Kafka' to Dana. Just took a longish walk around Cartagena, discovering that I still have valleys and found myself gasping and praying for the Lord's power to help me out. I'm still asking.

As I typed up an older entry (a poem, actually) I made a parallel to the goddess Diana. I considered that maybe I really am meant to be one of those people who remain single forever. They have several passing relationships, but no one is the Diver. They write letters and books about romance yet have never endured one. I will endure one though - between God and me - and I hope it may inspire me forever.