quarantine & waiting

3/20
Nearly the end of the first week in quarantine mode.

Today I had 3 video calls. I didn't have any yesterday, since I decided not to join the high school night one. I let Lydia use my computer while I ate dinner and drew. I've officially restarted my new testament project, and I can't choose between pen drawn or digitally traced. I spent awhile sketching then editing photos of my sketches. One verse from Psalms had stuck out to me (from reading in the morning) so I thought it'd be encouraging to make an illustrated post about it. Of course when I posted it, not many people ended up liking it - it's plain & about God, not exactly what my art friends go for. I thought it wouldn't bother me but it did, and I had to talk myself out of archiving it. Who really cares - I'll probably forget too as soon as I post a well-received thing. I'm on the verge of deleting the app - it's been consuming me. Maybe a hiatus.

I am in quiet ache as I wait for the Lord to do things. Waiting for some direction / place for my art, for romantic resolution, and for being a small group leader. My art career has been a pressing question for almost a year now. I don't want to complain about it more though. I'm too tired.
As for feelings, they are feelings, and I'm not sure I can act on them for some time. And being a youth leader feels postponed again. Yet I'm trusting He has reasons.

Meanwhile I'm going to write stories & songs, draw, read, and bake bread.

I baked pita bread today. It came out kinda too flat, but tasty. I fixed falafel along with it.
In the afternoon, I tried writing something new, by following a random prompt. I chose when you First Held Someone's Hand. It's a memorable day - our 3rd date, a 3-part one too. But I don't want to close my day dwelling on that night. Feels strange. For my next prompt, I will choose something non-romantic & challenging. Perhaps about friendship.